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Thursday, March 8, 2007

The Granola Maintenance Man

About a week ago, our fire alarm started buzzing sporadically about 3:17 am. Luke got up to investigate, and I was sure the midgets had followed me from the attic in Collierville (more on that later), and were pushing the button. He pulled half off it off the wall, and we went back to sleep. I went by the main office yesterday to figure out how we can get this fixed, and the shower head in our guest bathroom sprayed like a sprinkler. The maintenance man came today, and while fixing my shower and replacing our smoke detector taught me eight things: 1. Our water is positive. God made negative water, and the processing and pipes make the water in our faucets positive. To get your water back negative you should get a stereo magnet (a what?), a pickle jar from Schlotzsky's, and put your water in the jar and the jar over the magent. 2. Our fruit can be tested (as can water and any other food) to see if it is good, or dead. Take a chain (such as the one I was wearing with my cross necklace), and put it directly above the food. If it swings clockwise, it is good. If it swings counterclockwise, it is bad. Thank goodness my plum caused a clockwise rotation of my cross necklace. Whew! 3. Peppermint oil kills all microbes, microorganisms, bacteria, etc, and we should all keep some incase of biological warfare. 4. Hawaiian Kukui Nut Oil will keep your skin soft. I applied some to my hands and face, so I will let you know how that turns out. 5. Shiatsu- pressure points in your feet can relieve problems internally in your body. I got a demonstration so that Luke and I could take turns in pushing on these spots on each other. (What was going on??) 6. Your microwave is killing you. 7. Dogs can be healed through frequencies. and 8. (because I hate ending on a prime number) Have the maintenance man come when you aren't at home.


Caleb and Tricia said...

Are you serious? Did this happen? I am so afraid of all people in Tyler, TX now.

Luke & Amanda said...

It truly happened. And I forgot to mention he told me he keeps frankencense and myrrh in his truck.

Heather and Trey said...

move back to mississippi.
this kinda stuff doesn't happen here.

ps- so is my microwavable Healthy Choice Pizza slowly killing me?

LT said...

this makes no sense. that's just weird. everyone uses microwaves. are we all going to die?

Joe said...

Amanda - you're a nerd.

Maggs said...

Hi, there. Thanks so much for leaving a comment! I've decided the best way to drag up old friens (and meet new ones) is to put their little sisters on your blog!! As depressing as this day was, it's turned out to be such a blessing- I'ver heard from so many people that I haven't thought about in years- and met some new ones. I love your blog, your sense of humor is great. I loved you comment about not wanting to end on a prime number- it reminded me of my husband. He's always throwing away the "odd numbered" M&M and other crazy stuff like that!

PS- if you have to have the mantainance guy back, maybe you should direct him to the nearest Mellow Mushroom- I think he'd be happier making pizza there.

-Maggie Ethridge

Anonymous said...

that was amazing