The night before Kindergarten

 

How is this even possible? Im not even gonna lie...I am a hot mess tonight! How did my baby go from just that, a baby, to a school aged kid? I am putting off going to bed because I know when I wake up, I have to take her and drop her off for her to spend her days with someone else. Will she remember all our days spent at the zoo? Walking around our neighborhood pointing out woodpeckers and foxes? Will she remember the hours I spent rocking her tiny body to sleep...only to wake again minutes later to start our dance routine all over again? Will she know how much she is loved at home, and will that confidence carry over so she is a sweet friend to those without any? Will she be able to stand up for what she knows is right? Will her strong willed nature finally be an asset? Have I done enough in her 5 years at home with me to send her out to a big, mean world? That is the question that has plagued me all summer...have our five years together been enough to set her up for success outside of our cocoon? What are we going to do without her here? Preston is just going to be lost, and I am afraid to admit, I think I will be too. She has been my little sidekick for five years; and it hasnt been long enough. She made me a mama, and she has taught me so much more than I could ever teach her. I found myself painting my nails tonight the same loud red as she requested hers be painted. I hope when she looks down at her hands tomorrow (as I know she'll do when she's nervous), and just know deep down how much I absolutely love every fiber of her being!

  Oh my sweet babycakes. I wish you the best kindergarten year ever. I hope you make life long friends like Meme did. I hope you learn and are stretched far more than I could have done with you at home. I hope you are a friend to all and are known for your kindness. I hope you dont encounter any mean girls, and I hope you are never too cool for your little brothers (or for your crazy mama!) You are my best friend, and I hope that never changes. I love you, little sidekick! 

Your little hands wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny

You got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have, honey

If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

No, no one will desert you

Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies

And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off

At 14, there's just so much you can't do

And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block

Remember that she's getting older, too

And don't lose the way that you dance around

In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you

Nothing's ever left you scarred

And even though you want to

Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room

Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home

Remember the footsteps, remember the words said

And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have

Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment

In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder than I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up

I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

Could still be little

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

Just stay this little

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

And even though you want to

Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up

(Never grow up)

Just never grow up

Taylor Swift