How is this even possible? Im not even gonna lie...I am a hot mess tonight! How did my baby go from just that, a baby, to a school aged kid? I am putting off going to bed because I know when I wake up, I have to take her and drop her off for her to spend her days with someone else. Will she remember all our days spent at the zoo? Walking around our neighborhood pointing out woodpeckers and foxes? Will she remember the hours I spent rocking her tiny body to sleep...only to wake again minutes later to start our dance routine all over again? Will she know how much she is loved at home, and will that confidence carry over so she is a sweet friend to those without any? Will she be able to stand up for what she knows is right? Will her strong willed nature finally be an asset? Have I done enough in her 5 years at home with me to send her out to a big, mean world? That is the question that has plagued me all summer...have our five years together been enough to set her up for success outside of our cocoon? What are we going to do without her here? Preston is just going to be lost, and I am afraid to admit, I think I will be too. She has been my little sidekick for five years; and it hasnt been long enough. She made me a mama, and she has taught me so much more than I could ever teach her. I found myself painting my nails tonight the same loud red as she requested hers be painted. I hope when she looks down at her hands tomorrow (as I know she'll do when she's nervous), and just know deep down how much I absolutely love every fiber of her being!
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to
Please try to never grow up
Don't you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up
Taylor Swift
